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August 28 Be blind."A blind person has the purest friendships"
-Emz
Inspiration: I talk to people on MSN I have not met.
They're all awesome, they have their own personalities, their faults, their own life... and I love being MSN friends with them. ---Recently, I've been meeting some of them in real life.---
They aren't quite the same, but I know that I'm friends with them for what's INSIDE.
You don't need to see them to be friends with them. Hear them out, get to know them by their words.
So... BE BLIND.
August 24 Just this and that floating around in my head."Shake your hips everyone!
Move then from side to side,
stick them out,
stand on them!
Make it look like you're dancing!"
-Teacher
Such a workout! Everybody was jumping around and enjoying themselves... more the first part than second!
About those shoes that I wanted... well, my dad offered to buy them and I accepted, simply because I couldn't see how it would benefit my dancing if it took me half a year to earn the money...
Turns out, I need size 6, and the last pair was a size 5 and a half! FIVE AND A HALF! >< Crazy stuff.
I never knew I'd be this excited about shoes.
The roadworks have blocked out one crucial exit of my school...
so now, 2,400 girls have to all squeeze out of two smaller exits, around 1.5 M in length EACH! at the same time.
Pain, I know, but that's not all...
They're blocking out one MORE! The slightly larger one of the two remaining. This means around five minutes on average delay added on to the previous delay! This adds up to 15 minutes delay... which means even more explainations to the parents!
We should bombard the fences.
I was thinking today.
We're just small little humans on a huge huge earth.
.. so insignificant.
Say, if I were to die right now at this very moment, only around ten people would truely care. Only around ten would cry for me and be affected by my nonexistance.
But this has nothing to do with self-confidence or such.
I started to think about why we really care
about-...
Even the little things. Go buy yourself that car. That cat. That book. Make most of it, because once you think about how much you don't matter, you really stop caring about mattering... and that makes me realise that I just must have fun, for MYSELF, and not for anybody else. (Even though I do care about a few people more, maybe:P) *-Made up statistic, but I'm very sure that's about it, maybe even higher! August 05 It's okay to be different. Don't be afraid to say noNew.
That's what I want to do. New. Turn the page and enter the next chapter of whatever is going on in my head that makes me do what I do and love what I love and act like I act.
Health Ed has got me thinking. I really thought I knew everything when I started it- I thought I knew what was right, how to act, who to be friends with, what to think...
... and I did, but nobody had explained it to me in words- nobody had bothered to grab a hammer and make sure it was secured in my head.
I spend my time with people every single day. I see a variety of people every single day. They all treat me differently... and when some of them don't treat me right, I tell myself that I'm being too harsh on them- that it's just life and I can't do anything about it. I shouldn't be mad and I shouldn't be angry. So I keep it enclosed. I try not to make enemies... I don't like having enemies...I don't like conflict. So I don't tell them to go away, I don't tell them what I feel.
Eventually I have a collection of people treating me like they think I like to be treated, just because I don't speak up, or I don't show them what I like in any way. Not all of these people are mean or nasty or disrespectful- they're just doing what they think is right because I didn't show my true self.
I want to feel clear. Fresh. In control. I want to feel that I can clearly state who I am, what I want and what I won't tolerate. I feel that I'm a seed asking god to make me in to a forest. I want to grow. I want to walk in to a room, hold my head up high and be able not to worry about what the other people there are thinking about me.
Maybe I need to change how I think about them before that can happen... "It's okay to be different. Don't fear being strange... it's okay to say 'No, I don't like this and I won't do it just because you want me to'. Don't fear saying no because you think you'll their respect. Who are THEY, after all? Remember, YOU are in control of what YOU do."
And I agree with my health teacher- I finally see the meaning of what the world has been trying to tell me, every single day of my life that I could understand. Yet I STILL strived to fit in.
This Term:
My Passions: Latin American/Ballroom Dancing
My Goals: To save $105.00 for Dance Shoes
To socialize with a larger variety of people
Ace every class (well, almost...)
I have learnt: You don't need buckets filled with money to be happy. Quote: "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" -Somebody really wise. To be happy- you need to love yourself and feel confident that the people that COUNT are there for you. *the music,
Forgive people, we all make mistakes and most of the time we're sorry for them. For Lily, my long-lost but ever so close friend: I miss you alot. I want you to come back. I'll never forget you. And I can't say everything in words, because it would take too long and I wouldn't get it quite right - I'd want to to be perfect. But I think our minds our connected.
Here are a few things that I scanned for you. I shall get you the new 10cent and 50cent coins soon. =)
Sorry, I couldn't scan the panda you gave me...it seemed too cruel to squish it in there... maybe next time I'll take photos ;)
Floating piece of land? It sure seemed so.
August 03 I have returnedGet plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t,
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40,
Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can, don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own - Baz
Oh my god!!
What is going on? What has happened to the MSNSpaces I have become to use to!?! What have they done with my SPACE!
...control the anger, Emily... exploration is never bad...
I'm still mad that all this change kept me off here for MUCH TOO LONG.
I thought I'd never ever get to go on like I use to!
And I hate them for that! |
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