I can't understand and
I Won't understand
I was done with understanding when we moved here to an
English-Speaking-Country
where Russian is not really, at all needed!

I need your feelings for this.

I need to fill my teacher in on a memorable part of your life...

who cares if you were only six when the war came around?

Six year olds still have feelings.
Okay, so now you're not six anymore, you're almost 70. I ask you about your feelings and other things I need to know in the best way I can, through hand actions and simple examples.
I request that you speak simply to me.
I am not stupid.

I am not slow.
I just don't STUDY RUSSIAN.

And I DON'T ask stupid questions.

You're just too restricted and your trains of thoughts don't have many lanes. That's what makes you stubborn.

I need your feelings.
I don't CARE about what happened after the war to do with Law, to do with Court!

And I ask, and I'm patient, and I don't get what I want. You walk out on me because these questions I am asking you are just too stupid, and I am 'wasting' your time. All you ever do is walk around the park, sleep and eat. Those are the basics. Your life.

'What did you do to take your mind off the war when it was passing?'

"Oh, I milked the cow."
And you walked out of the room, AGAIN.

A cow does not have an endless supply of milk! It doesn't even have a supply to last you the war- a whole 4 years!

And your answers are not stupid? I do admit I was stupid to ask you that question again. All I got was got damage my ears and a bucket full of spit on my face, because all else you did was, 'eat, sleep, drink.'

I couldn't help but add in a few extras.

And now you're here again, in my room, going on about what you did. I am way too stubborn to even hear you. Skating, you say?

Oh shuttttup. I shall not forget this. I shall not forget how you keep yelling at me because of something I cannot change. I do not need russian.
If all I am using it for is to keep my communication lines open, then I might aswell just forget Russian. I do not want Russian. Russian is not what I need or want. I have English, and that's enough for me.

I shall not forget what you say to me. I am NOT stupid and I am NOT slow. I simply try my best to explain however I can.

So why do I keep running to you whenever I need to write something historical? I do remember. Each time I try to keep your nerve down, but each time you just lose it quicker.

???

 I sit here, freshly self-pampered, breathing as steadily and slowly as personally possible.
The sounds of my relatives resound through the hallways,
often entering my room.
The heat is incredibly powerful; almost unbearable,
yet I know that this is not the worst it can do.
Taking a shower is close to useless on a day like this,
for as soon as I get dressed I start to sweat again, therefore
no piece of clothing can be re-worn the day ahead.

What can I do on a day like this?
Perched on my large computer chair, I sit and wonder.
There is no use to imprison myself within the walls
of a room which contains a computer,
for a computer means energy, and energy means heat.

I think I shall venture in to the outside world-
where the wind battles the sun to win respect.
It is known that the wind does succeed to keep one's jacket on, while the sun roasts away at the layers-
forcing one to remove it.

But I know one thing that is also much known.
The wind can brush against your skin, and bring it back to life.
It can restore and heal the damage that a life within walls
does to you.

To the wind I am heading today-
on my light purple rollerblades.